I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
