the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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