Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
