I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
