kristin has been a bad kristin
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
