I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
