frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just want nice things and good sex
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
