I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
