i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
