sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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