I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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