i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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