Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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