Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
