I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
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I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
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Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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