(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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