I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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