he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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