Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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