Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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