This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
