508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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