Whats the glycemic index on semen?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize