life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize