so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I could fuck to npr.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
