I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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