there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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