I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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