Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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