I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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