I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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