The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
