Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
