At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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