dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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