It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
