If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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