I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
