I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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