He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
