my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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