At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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