I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
