DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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