$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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