Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Never underestimate the power of titties
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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