Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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