Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
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This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
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He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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