i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.