My friends, they love my intelligence
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.