i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?