found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing