went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If I die, sorry about rent.
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