When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
