I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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