Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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