I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
