My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
smell my finger.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
