Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
